le break(ing point)

i'm always excited to go home for break. i talk to my mom 20 times a day on the phone already so it's not like i'm going home to strangers as a stranger. i love animals more than anything and a chance to live with them for a month is priceless. the honeymoon phase (which lasts about three days) is always enjoyable. but after those three days, what happens? chaos. worse than chaos because you know exactly what's going to happen and how it's going to happen. predictable chaos is terrifying. 

so why do i still get excited to go home? why is it something i look forward to, something i consider a much needed month of relaxation, when nothing relaxing ever takes place? catching up with old friends is amazing. sleeping with my cat by my side is precious. sunning in the yard with my dogs is calming. singing to pretty songs with my sister in the car is cool. but are all of these happenings worth the fighting that precedes them? i've made my mom cry two days in a row (not by being mean, just by getting into an argument with my sister and also by not going to church). i know for a fact that she is happier when i am not home. she talks to me when i'm in-between classes or walking home from work and is happy to know that i still need her in my life, at least as someone to converse with between responsibilities. but when i'm home i think she feels a disconnection and knows as well as i that the chaos will soon be taking over. we like it better when things are organized by time, not by emotion. 

so a holiday break for me isn't necessarily a break. it's a change of pace and a change of dramatic incidents. no longer am i annoyed by dirty roommates. i am now annoyed by lack of alone time and cigarettes and a mom thats ready to get angry at any little thing. but it's okay. i love everyone in my family regardless of their anxiety levels, and i love hanging out with friends that stuck with me through the hellish year that was 2008. 

christmaschristmaschristmas

i'm so so so excited for christmas this year. for once i don't hate my mom and i get to hang out with my puppies and my kitten. and of course, i'm super close to the SB zoo, at which otters and penguins swim (and that sweet lion puts his face against the glass and looks at me). here are the top 5 things on my christmas list this year, besides the usual Urban/AA gift cards (american apparel, not alcoholics anonymous) my hip mom gives me. and i hear some planned parenthoods have gift cards now. that might be cool to have.

WALL E DVD (or WALL E himself)

Hymie's Basement CD (with Yoni from WHY?)

CuteOverload Page a Day calendar

subscription to Under the Radar magazine

Justice "A Cross the Universe" live DVD/Album

And here's a Christmas gift from me to you ♥

time travel

yes, i am extremely excited for christmas.

when i arrived home on tuesday, my family had completely decorated the house for christmas (minus the tree and the outside lights) and had a fire in the fireplace. it was a perfect way to be welcomed home, especially after a ridiculously stressful and draining week. the only odd thing was, thanksgiving still had not happened. i'm not one that gets overly angry when i see christmasy things before the month of december, let alone thanksgiving day, but i for sure thought it was silly. but, seriously, how could i complain when i was surrounded by an abundance of penguins? they bought a light up one especially for me:

nonetheless, this week has proven to be a family overload week. thanksgiving dinner involved my cousin and her new husband, an aunt that i haven't seen in probably 4 years and a surprising lack of other relatives that had never been absent before. i also discussed the upcoming "girl cousins' night" at my aunt's (another one that i haven't seen in years) house, which almost burned down in the recent santa barbara fires. i'm a tad overwhelmed by this upcoming night but it's a month away so whatevs for now. tomorrow i'm going to the zoo with my grandpa and step-grandma, renee, and my mom, dad and sister too. i get to see penguins in person, which easily makes this the best day of my week at home. 

another benefit is the time i have to read.

not only do i get to fit in a few pages of "Travels With Charley" here and there, but my sister has the new NYLON (mine is waiting for me in my SD mailbox). though i was disappointed by the issue's lack of excitement about the new year, i was highly impressed by the holiday playlist created by SNL's newest addition, Casey Wilson. the song descriptions were genius and the humor refreshing. i greatly appreciated the Gremlins reference (and the accompanying picture of a gremlin holding a candy cane with dancing music notes floating above his furry head), as well as the Bruce Springsteen "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" recommendation. Check it out in the Dec/Jan 09 issue with Lily Allen on the cover. it's on page 142. (seriously, it made me LOL.)

a band that i'm getting into: The Welcome Wagon, whose album is produced and arranged by Sufjan Stevens and released on Asthmatic Kitty. very Sufjan-esque, featuring covers of The Smiths and old hymns, as well as original creations. check out the mp3 at stereogum.com. the album is released on Dec. 9.