vista view

waiting for my ride in The Vista office here on campus, i began to ponder weekend plans which then digressed into life plans. i plan on having a studio apartment next year since half of my friends are graduating and almost the entire other half are studying abroad or having children. living by myself (along with a cat and/or dog) is going to be like living in a heaven, a "kaitlin" heaven. the idea of having my own place with my own kitchen-ware, couch, tv programming, netflix subscription, throw pillows, candles, curtains, rugs, coffee table, decorative disco balls, lucky penguins...the list goes on. i won't have to worry about who did the dishes last, who wants the blinds closed or the heater on. all i will have to worry about is if i'm gonna be done with The Vista in time to catch Chelsea Lately on E! or if i'm running low on method dish soap. please don't get me wrong, i completely love my roommate. but there is something wonderful to be said about quiet time and having your own belongings. while reading "Travels With Charley" by John Steinbeck, i've become envious of the time Steinbeck (and even Charley) have with their own thoughts. when i think about the things i could write if i took a trip with just myself and my dog...i get somewhat overwhelmed, but it's an empowering feeling at the same time? not sure how that works, but it might be that i accept that i CAN be a good writer if i just allow myself the time and mindset. i tend to fight my writing urges because i'm afraid i can't live up to expectations, especially when it's creative writing. i have that brilliant idea for a novel just sitting up on a shelf in my mind, waiting to be put within the front and back covers that make up a book (hard copy of course). we'll seeeee what happens this summer. hopefully i'll have my own place in san diego, accompanied by a job, money, a car and a dog (or cat). those will be the daze. penguin of the week? conductor penguin:

woahhh

i have astonished myself by writing a 6 page paper in one night. i haven't written a paper since last week, but before that it had been about 4 or 5 months. it's such a relief to know that i can still write scholarly things. this semester won't be as hard as i thought. woo!

spicy

there is nothing more peaceful than spending an hour in the sun listening to sufjan and the black keys on my ipod, as well as birds chirping and my dogs walking on the grass and crawling through the agapanthuses. feeling the warmth of the sun beating down on my skin while i read about separating my self from my ego was quite empowering. i always wonder though, would the peacefulness remain if there was someone next to me, especially someone i had feelings for? i have decided that the answer is no. if i were to be lying next to a person whose opinion i cared about, i would be much more conscious of my appearance, my positioning, and my book choice. it is times like these, when i am surrounded by nature, that i realize how valuable solitude can be.